Crap day…

Crap day…
Yesterday was a crap day. Nothing I want to get into on here since it is public and you never know who is reading, but let’s just say it greatly affected my leg day because I let it get into my head. At first I was able to use it to fuel me, and I upped my personal best on standing calf extensions to 270lbs plus the bar, but then it just kept nagging me to the point that I wound up in tears on the leg press when I spilled my drink. That was when I decided that for my own personal safety, because I wasn’t able to keep my focus and tension where I needed it, that it was best to just call it a day. At some point this week, I will be redoing leg day, but I did get in 75% of my workout before I decided that I needed to call it a day.
Then today I was supposed to be hitting back and biceps. Annnnnd I for called into work. However my day off will be moved assuming nothing else crazy happens so I am just shifting my training by a day and not losing a workout.
Work actually ended up really well. We were slammed and because of my own personal drama, I treated myself to two new workout tanks from flag nor fail I strongly recommend if you love a good company run by people that care about a product that you check them out. I want some of their sweat pants so badly, but I really need to finish cutting before I drop money on new pants only for them to fall off me in 2 months.
The benefit of pushing my back and biceps back by a day, is that I had some extra time where I was clearheaded and focused to tweak last weeks workout and make sure more areas are covered in a more efficient manner. I’m feeling good about the tweaks I made, and depending on how I feel after and the next day, I will adjust from there as well.
I decided that today would be my highcarb day for the week, because I knew I wanted to cook out with the kids. It also turned into a bit of a cheat day because we made strawberry shortcake too. Gave myself a mental break from counting for the day but stayed generally aware. It was so good. I made hamburgers and corn, we also had fresh watermelon and cantaloupe and some tomatoes. I accidentally picked up sugar free strawberry syrup for the shortcake. My body was not amused. Either that or the whipped cream. My body is kinda all what the heck did you put in me. Next time I want to do this, I will remember this moment.

What did you do for Labor Day?








It’s Leg Day…

It’s Leg Day…
Otherwise known as my absolute favorite day of the week. Legs have always been my favorite area to work at the gym and everyday would be leg day if I could make that work. I already did 30 minutes of cardio before work today at home. I wanted to knock it out at the gym but my youngest started kindergarten today and getting him situated took a few minutes more than I expected. He only had a half day today and my mom picked him up and said he enjoyed it and even talked to the teacher some. When I left him, he was refusing to talk and was sitting at his desk crying while the teacher was trying to convince him to color. It was pretty pitiful.

I had some trouble getting to sleep last night. I absolutely could not get comfy. I was tired before I laid down, but as soon as my head hit my pillow my body was like nope. I was almost asleep and then one of my exs texted asking if I was up. Never fails.

I absolutely can not wait to get into the gym tonight. I wanted to go last night, but couldn’t go without keeping the kids up past their bed time. I was just in the mood to go move some heavy things. One of these days I’m going to write a post on the top 10 reasons why being in a relationship with the gym is better than being in a relationship with a human.


when do I go back to work again…

When Do I Go Back To Work Again…

It’s been one of those days.  The type of day where by bedtime you are letting your kids fight to the death or at least until blood is drawn.  The type of day where no one listens and no matter what you do, you can’t out yell the kids.  The type of day where you sit in your room and eat half a box of cookies even though you no you shouldn’t.  Then your oldest looks at you and says “mom you said those have to last, I’m really worried about your diet.”

Now let me finish that thought by saying I have never once told my kids I’m in a diet.  That word has come from my mother’s mouth.  I don’t look at the changes I have made as a diet, because if don’t intend to go back to the way I was.  Despite the fact I ate a whole bunch of cookies today.  It’s okay to sit down and eat a whole box of cookies occasionally.  It’s not ok to sit down and eat a box of cookies every week or even every other week.  I would worry if I didn’t sit down and eat a half of a box of cookies today to be honest.  One bad day didn’t make me fat, one bad day won’t make me fat, just like eating right and exercising one day won’t make me healthy. That’s what I want my kids to learn.  I don’t want them to know the word diet, I want them to be able to look at the big picture and say you know I’ve eaten the last 60 meals healthy and prepared at home it’s ok to go out to a restaurant for dinner, or to know that because they stay healthy, work out and eat healthy that it’s ok to have a second piece of birthday cake on your birthday, that it’s when you eat a whole cake every week and sit down and play games and don’t get up and move that it becomes a problem.

I was raised with a large part of my teenage meals being picked up from Arby’s or McDonalds… I’m talking I had fast food 5 days a week out of convienence.  THAT is what I don’t want them to think is ok.  My mom to this day still doesn’t see a problem with it.  My family would easily go through 2 12 packs of soda a day between 4 of us.  My mom will even now let my kids drink a 2 liter of soda when she watches them (and she has the frequently so it’s more than just a treat).  When I’m home with them they know they can have water or juice and milk with a meal.  I only buy so much milk and juice a week and when it’s gone you can have water.  I know some people think that it cruel, but since when is drinking water bad for you?  Realistically, most people don’t need more than a serving of juice a day, and if you are eating healthy, it’s not necessary to drink a gallon of milk each day either.  

Me, personally, I would rather eat my calories than drink them.  I would take a piece of fruit over a glass of juice 9 out of 10 meals.  I love having cranberry grape juice with pasta, especially alfredo.  It has been forever since I have had alfredo.  It’s probably my favorite meal ever.  It’s one meal that I am not a fan of portion control with and would sit down and eat the whole pot.  Honestly if I had thought today out I would have rather sat down and ate a whole pot of Alfredo than half a pack of cookies.  I’m not sure there would have been too much difference in the carbs… Definitely would have picked up some extra proteins, maybe in a few weeks I will remember this.  Part of learning to live healthy is learning to make choices.

case of the blahs…

Case of the Blahs…

We are at that point in summer where it rains all the time.  The sun hasn’t come out enough in days to be able to get outside and do anything.  Which means the kids are absolutely while which leads to this.



That my friends would be the living room tv… Well was the living room tv.  I had been on the kids case all morning long to stop throwing things in the house.  Of course no one listened until my youngest killed the tv throwing a bottle of lotion at my oldest.  It has been determined already that they all 3 will be working off the cost of a new tv until the end of time.  Fortunately, my dad came to the rescue and replaced it because I honestly don’t have the kind of money laying around.  I will have to pay him back, but for now he took care of it.

I went to the gym yesterday and absolutely killed a back and bicep work out.  I’m still feeling it today and was honestly wondering if I had killed myself when I left the gym yesterday.  Back and bicep is my least favorite day, probably because it is my weakest area.  I enjoy it, don’t get me wrong, but I’d much rather do leg day any day over back and bicep.  I was hoping to get in a chest and tricep work out today, but I’m thinking that I’m not going to be able to get to the gym due to lack of child care.  The kids go back to school in about 3 weeks and I am making a hard 12 week push after that.  I am hoping to lose 20-30lbs over the next 15 weeks. It’s going to be tricky, I’m trying to tone up and lose fat at the same time, so some weeks I show gains (swelling and water) and then it’s like I have 5lbs just disappear over night.  I’m less concerned with the scale and more how I look and feel.  I’m watching my measurements closely too, because over the last few weeks I haven’t lost any weight but my waist has come in almost 2 inches.  The scale is honestly such an evil tool.  There’s good and bad to it but it doesn’t really reveal the truth.

The angles are a smidge off in the pics, but I can see some progress since June 12(left on the first pic) and yesterday (right) and then the top on the second was early July and bottom which was yesterday as well… This month I have eaten 30g more carbs per day as well as 300 additional calories from when I was making a hard push, so the fact that there is any difference is great because I have just been focusing on maintaining this month.

Happy Fathers Day…

Happy Father’s Day…

Today is always a hard day for my little ones.  It’s been over two years since their father has seen them, almost over a year since they have even spoken to him. He couldn’t even manage to send more than a text for their birthdays, which honestly at this point I haven’t even bothered to tell them about, they can hate me later for it.  They see everyone celebrating Father’s Day and they don’t understand why their dad isn’t around, why he doesn’t see them or call.  I do the best I can to be both, but let’s face it, I’m not a guy, it will never be the same.  I’m not close enough to most of my guy friends to let them help out, and the ones that I am close enough to, live too far away to be available.

I know that kids from single parent families frequently turn out just fine, but I also know they are at greater risk for so many things.  I want better for my kids, I want them to be raised right.  I want them to experience all the good things.  It’s just so hard on a single income, where 90% of what little “extra” money I make goes to child care.  My work schedule doesn’t allow for me to get them into sports.  Saturdays are mandatory and pretty much all sports have their games on Saturdays, and if I have to work, I can’t get them there, and it’s not like I can just switch companies, Saturdays are mandatory for my job, not just my company.

So, I encourage you to not just think of the dad’s today, or of the single moms pulling double duty, but think of the kids that have a single parent pulling double duty, that don’t understand why they have a parent that isn’t around.  That don’t get to do all of the fun things because the missing parent doesn’t pay support or see them.  That can’t play sports because the parent has to choose between feeding the family or taking them to a practice or a game.  As hard as it is on me, I think it is that much harder on my kids,

A Shiny Penny…

A Shiny Penny…

Yesterday is the last time I am making a Hunger Games reference to my children in regards to just letting them hash it out on their own.  We are in the midst of summer break and it has barely started and they are already at each other’s throats.  I was trying to get ready for work, and my youngest was whining and opening and shutting and opening and shutting and opening my door.  So I finally just shut it locked it and on my personal twitter tweeted something along the lines of happy hunger games and may the odds be ever in your favor… May the strongest survive.  Once the settled back down I opened my door back up and about two minutes later, my middle comes running in.

“It’s stuck it’s stuck!!!”

“What’s stuck?”

“What I swallowed” points at throat

“What did you swallow?”

“A penny!”

At this point I’m like well do I tell her to cough? Do I tell her to swallow? I knew Heimlich wouldn’t work, she was talking and breathing. About that time she’s like I don’t think it’s stuck any more.  Our pediatrician is also a friend, so I text her, ask if she’s working, explain the situation, get told to bring her in for X-rays to make sure it’s not really stuck still.  Personal drama ensues that I am not ready to get into yet.  My mom has to take k2 and the others to the doctor because I was unable to.  I spent the better part of an hour in tears and finally took something to calm me down.  I have to call in the morning and see if they got the X-rays back because I haven’t heard anything today. Yesterday sucked all around.


I finally was able to get my butt back in the gym today.  I did an hour and a half of upper body weights and 30 minutes on the bicycle.  I’m back to following my diet to a T.  No more cheating.  Every time I cheat my anxiety goes way way up and I feel like crap.  Being off my foot for a week really set me back in more than just physical ways.  I’m not comfortable resuming full activity on it yet.  Today I did almost all arms.  I may have thrown in some squats but I would never admit to doing something I shouldn’t have done.  I also did some back and some deadlifts.  My foot isn’t totally killing me so I think it is starting to heal.  My plan for next week is to start adding in my leg press.  I hope to add in my other legs later this week minus toe raises.  Toe raises may be a month or so because the break is up near my toes.  When I add in my leg press I am going to have to drop it a good 50 pound for awhile.  I’ll just up my reps to compensate for it.  I just don’t want to be putting too much weight on that while it is healing.  I can’t do any impactive cardio for probably a month.  Maybe in 2 weeks I can add in short times in the elliptical and arc/cybex but until then it’s the bike.  I hate the bike.  And absolutely no cardio/weight circuit because of the stairs and that sucks greatly.  I’m still feeling really good and positive and after having two hours in the gym I feel like myself again.  I’ve got this.  I just have to be a little more patient.

Long Night

Long night…

It’s definitely been a long night… First off the arm isn’t broken by some miracle.  I thought for sure it would be.  I am very thankfully it’s not.  This summer would have been a disaster if it was.  I can’t even imagine trying to keep her out of the pool… We also have passes to a local water park.

Since I went straight to the hospital after the gym, it meant I missed my golden hour for post weight work out dinner.  I did take in a protein shake (optimum nutrition gold double rick chocolate) 24g of protein right there and only 3G of carbs.  Once we got home from the hospital I had some bacon and string cheese.  Super balanced meal right there let me tell you, but it’s low carb and high protein.  I take enough vitamins and supplements I’m not super worried.


Today was a leg day.  I also threw in tricep press and back extension on the machines for good measure, as well as the 30 minute express circuit (cardio/weights alternating through 20 stations on a timer).  I need to do better about putting some straight cardio in some where.  My typical routine is a 5 minute warm up on the treadmill, followed by an hour of weights. Then if I have a full two hours I do 20 minutes hard straight cardio and a 10 minute cool down.  If I don’t then I just cool down and try to do some cardio at home.  I was doing cardio before doing weights and a friend that body builds pointed me in the direction of some articles on glycogen and how if you are doing cardio first, you are risking injury by doing weights after, and the first 30ish minutes of your cardio are spent burning energy and not fat.  If you do your weights first you burn off the glycogen more constructively as well as build muscle that will burn fat all day long, as well as when you do your cardio it is all fat burning time.  If your goal is more endurance and stamina though by all means cardio away until your heart is content! It really is interesting to read up on and it totally made sense once it was broken down to me.

I left my gym note book at home and I felt so lost.. I’m not really sure where it is… I need to find it before Monday.  I ended up writing down my weights on scrap paper.  I think I improved on some and went too easy on others.  It could have been worse.  I’ll leave you with some pics.

Never a Dull Moment

Never a Dull Moment…


I actually managed to get off of work on time today. Made the conscious decision to go to the gym. Had a great work out even. Then as I was leaving the gym, I get a phone call from the sitter… My oldest decided to take her bike down a really big hill. So now we are BACK at the hospital. It’s swollen and bruised, and I’m thinking it’s probably broken. I’m crying uncle. Is this week over yet?