I choose to do this…


At least that is what I keep reminding myself. I don’t HAVE to do this. I choose too. I want to achieve certain goals. And to be able to do that, I have to make choices. It’s it that I can’t eat the ice cream, the fast food, the candy, I CHOOSE not to. I have the option to “cheat” or allow it, but that means I either have to make another choice to allow the treat and give up something in its place, or it’s going to take one day longer to hit my goal. My decision most days is that it’s not worth the extra cardio or sacrifices to fit in the candy bar or fast food. Yes, some days it sucks, but in the end, it will be worth it.

Decisions I make now WILL affect me 6 months from now. One day or week won’t ruin me, but that is a day or week that I could be working my tail off to create the best me possible. I would much rather get the extra weight off now, focus on maintaining and building, know what I’ve got going on and fix my weaknesses, then spend the next 6-8 months yo-yo-ing and stressing about getting the weight off in time for a competition. I have no intention of maintaining a stage weight for that long, I would just prefer to have 10-15lbs to lose over a 12 week period and not be trying to take off nearly 30lbs. I honestly don’t know that I even have 30lbs to lose, only time will tell, but yeah.

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Normal


That should be in”” because what exactly is normal? It’s some obscure numbers that doctors have put together when it comes to your bmi based off height and weight which is extremely outdated but still used. Today is the first time in 12 years I can say I’m “normal” or that I could go to a doctor and not be told I’m overweight. Based off physical appearance and clothing size, I haven’t considered myself overweight in awhile but this stupid obscure chart has, so to finally hit this obscure idea of “normal” is a great moment. I’m not sure what happened but after not losing a single pound for a month, I had 7lbs drop off this week getting me over the hump I was stuck on. I’m estimating that I have 15 maybe 20 more pounds if you want to get nitpicky before I hit the leanness I want to see. I’ll be watching the scale, but mostly relying on pictures from this point out to know when I’m going to start a small bulk. Anyways! Just wanted to share this exciting moment! And since its flex Friday, I flexed my back for a bit this morning!

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too much emphasis…


Too Much Emphasis…

I know I place too much emphasis on the scale.  It is just such a tangible unit of measure. Unfortunately it doesn’t take into account muscle that takes up less space than fat or if you gain more weight in muscle than you lose in fat… It shows a gain. So frustrating.  I did finally take measurements from various points around my body for more accurate tracking.  My current hurdle is 150.  One day I will be at 149 and two days later I’m back at 153.  I feel like if I could just get under the 150 I could get the ball rolling again.  Granted the whole point of this month is to let my body rest and get ready for the next push, that number is absolutely driving me crazy.  

I know the last 20-30 pounds isn’t going to come off at nearly the same speed as the first 50.  Heck I lost 15 in a week and a half just by switching to water and cutting out all the sports drinks and sodas.  Currently as much as that number is antagonizing me, I am not actively pushing to lose weight.  I was hoping it would just happen to come off, but realistically, when you are eating at or near maintenance levels, you aren’t going to lose weight without pushing yourself super hard at the gym.  I am trying to do better about making sure I am getting in 30 minutes at cardio 5 days a week at home, I really slacked off on that during my 12 week program.  

One of these days, I will be able to throw out the scale.  Just not ready to yet….